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Ava Grant · Personal Narrative Draft

Submitted today · Score 84 · Improved

In the draft, the student opens with a clear thesis but shifts into summary quickly. The voice is steady, though transitions between evidence and analysis are abrupt. The strongest sections appear in paragraphs three and four, where the writer connects the topic to a personal example. Weaknesses show up in the conclusion, which repeats the introduction rather than adding a new insight.

Writing coach analysis

Overall score84
Clarity78
Structure72
Voice86
Grammar90

Strength map

Coach feedback

  • Expand the thesis with one concrete claim so the reader knows the direction.
  • Vary sentence openings in paragraph two to avoid repetitive cadence.
  • Add a forward-looking sentence in the conclusion to reinforce the main point.

Historical progress

Aug 2468Needed stronger structure.
Sep 0274Improved clarity.
Sep 1281Voice feels more consistent.